The one thing that binds the four members of Hinds–Carlotta Cosials (vocals, guitar), Ana Perrote (vocals, guitar), Ade Martin (bass), and Amber Grimbergen (drums)–is love. Love is what moves them; it’s what their music revolves around, and it’s what they live by. Both individually and collectively, they believe in loving passionately and without permission–forget social standards, contracts, or distance.
All four musicians have learned different lessons about love, and have shared these insights with one another, for support and creative fuel. Ade and Carlotta (who is madly in love with her best friend from college) choose love every day, putting in the effort to strengthen their relationships despite long distances and schedule conflicts. Ana is learning to be single again after a failed relationship, and Amber is shaking off disappointment, hoping she falls in love for the first time when it’s right.
In the spirit of her new digital magazine, ILY, writer Erika Ramirez speaks to Hinds about matters of the heart.
Where or from whom did you learn about love?
Ade: I understood love properly through my parents. My dad moved to Vietnam [for] six years because of work. My mom lives in Madrid. They see each other twice a year [in person], but she wakes up every single day, and while she’s having breakfast they Skype. I’ve seen them love this way since I was a teenager. Three or four years ago, I didn’t understand it. I asked, “If you’re not together, why are you still together? I don’t get it.”
She said that I was the most important thing to her, so she didn’t move. They’re probably struggling, but they taught me that if you want it, you find a way. With my boyfriend now, I make time. Even if I’m so tired I feel like I’m going to die, even if it’s for two minutes or 20 minutes, I make time.
Amber: My grandparents really made me think about love. Seeing how time keeps going and they were loving each other like the first day. Unfortunately, I think I’ve never experienced a thing like that yet.
Carlotta: The most important things about love I learned from my mother. My parents are separated, but she still believes in love for your whole life. There’s a saying in Spanish we follow–Amor para todo la vida (Love for the rest of your life). Even after a complication as huge as separation or divorce, she still believes in that saying, and in love. She just got married again. We actually played in the wedding. It’s cool to have hope in love.
What does love mean to you?
Amber: Love is something that feels good, something that completes you, something to learn about. I think love keeps teaching you things, and that’s beautiful. I don't really think I’ve ever been in love. I would love to be in love, but I don't really look for it. It’s also hard to fall for someone when you’re always touring.
Ana: Love moves everything. One of my favorite lyrics goes: Where you invest your love, you invest your life. To me, that’s how it all functions with who you love, whether it be a boyfriend, girlfriend, friend, or family. Where you invest your love, or who you give your love to, is where the roots of your future are sprouting from. If I’m investing my time and heart in something, that means I’m investing my life in it.
Carlotta: Love makes everything. I’m the kind of person that loves the sensation of being in love, of being in a relationship, having someone to give everything to. Someone to share your life with is a plus. You’re almost living two lives; all the things that make him happy make you happy too.
What’s something you learned from your most recent relationship?
Carlotta: My ex-boyfriend was a musician before I was a musician. He couldn’t stand it. He started to be super mean to me because I was in Hinds. I was like, “I don’t think you even like me. You look at me and say you love me, but you don’t even like me.” He didn’t have an answer to that.
Our relationship had two different phases. It started with me kissing the ground he stepped on. I was like a groupie, more or less. It wasn’t reciprocated at all. Then suddenly, I started to be very busy with Hinds so I didn’t have all the time I used to. The relationship started to shift. It’s disgusting to think back now that I have perspective. The other day I found an old diary. I opened to the first page, [and] there was a sentence that killed me. [It read], “My boyfriend has been weird with me, as always.” I read that and thought, I was like that since 2013. How long have I been trying? I’ve been trying all this time.
At the end of our relationship, he said I was the love of his life and he always imagined having children with me. I asked, “Why didn’t you act like that?” He said he was secure of my love so he could treat me like that. You have to treat me right because you love treating me right, not because you’re scared I’ll leave. It’s not a responsibility, it’s something you want to do.
“Love makes everything. I’m the kind of person that loves the sensation of being in love, of being in a relationship, having someone to give everything to. Someone to share your life with is a plus. You’re almost living two lives; all the things that make him happy make you happy too.” — Carlotta
“You have to be conscious that at the end of the day you’re you. There’s tranquility in knowing that you’re your own person, with or without someone.” - Ana
What advice would you give yourself or someone else?
Ade: I’d tell my [younger] self to not be so tough or hard on the other person. I always had this clear idea in my head of the type of guy I wanted, and if I was with someone that didn’t check off everything on my list I’d think they weren’t worth it. That’s horrible. Now I know that. I think I would’ve loved more if I hadn’t been that way.
Amber: Don’t think too much. If you feel like doing something because of love, do it! No risk, no glory.
Ana: You have to be conscious that at the end of the day you’re you. There’s tranquility in knowing that you’re your own person, with or without someone. When you’re with someone, you create another entity as one, but you’re still your own entity. If that person leaves you, or you leave that person, you stay being you. I’m conscious that I’m something independent from my partner, and they’re something independent from me. We’re each our own person.
Carlotta: Never date a musician. [Laughs] Well, if you’re a musician, never date a musician. As a musician, you put everything into your work. Everything has a lot of feeling. Everything is intense. It’s difficult to be like that and love someone like that.
You know that saying of how you can be with someone for so long, so many years, but suddenly another person comes into your life and you know that person is the one? I think it’s true, because as you grow up, you know more of yourself, and more of what you want out of life. Every relationship teaches you something. You didn’t realize at the moment that the relationship you were in was bad, until you find something good.
“Don’t think too much. If you feel like doing something because of love, do it! No risk, no glory.” - Amber
Would you also recommend dating your best friend?
Carlotta: Yes! Go have beers, go get naked, and have sex and be together forever. He’s going to respect you and love you because he already does–that’s the best.
Hinds teamed up with awesome artist Laurina Paperina to create an original zine about friendship and thievery that’s just as quirky and charming as the band. Check out a preview and click the link below to purchase a copy of your own. We have a limited supply so don’t hesitate!
Buy the zine here!
About the artist: Laurina Paperina is an Italian artist who lives between Italy and Duckland, a small town in the Universe. She studied at the Institute of Art in Rovereto and the Academy of Fine Arts in Verona, Italy.
On Tuesday, June 14th, we’re taking our Hinds feature IRL with an exclusive zine release party in NYC, brought to you by House of Vans. The girls will spin their favorite records, plus Shannon & the Clams, Bleached and Brainfreeze perform. You won’t wanna miss it!